Does Courtesy Exist in Our World Anymore? I dig into that Pink Autistic Child Rant Letter by Jamie Gilcig

Does Courtesy Exist in Our World Anymore?   I dig into that Pink Autistic Child Rant Letter by Jamie Gilcig

autism letterCFN –   Please be forewarned to read and think before reacting to this piece.  It’s not defending the author of the letter above  nor is it in any way condoning some of the horrible sentiments in the letter above that has gone viral.

Obviously a distraught, frustrated, bat shit crazy , maybe child hating woman sent this anonymous letter to the mother of an autistic child.

We live in a society that has less and less accountability, and less penalties for crossing the lines of courtesy and respect for each other; our neighbors, and to some degree ourselves.   Our society has devolved.   Some may blame degenerated families and babies raising babies.  Some might point a figure at a Zeitgeist of entitlement.   My child is allergic to peanuts so the entire school can’t eat peanut butter sandwiches any longer type thinking….

People talk about bullying; but do we teach our children how to deal with bullying?  Do we as a species want to hold up those that simply can’t move to the front of the pack as pack leaders?   Is it not human for dominance to be asserted and isn’t that process a life lesson that young people need to survive as adults and pass down to their children?

Common courtesies such as holding a door for someone; giving up a seat; letting someone in line at the grocery store that only has an item or two seem passe.

Children in restaurants or public places; with conditions or not screaming and fit throwing with no real attempt of control?  Pets dropping or being destructive or noisy going unchecked.   (when they’re not uncaringly left in cars to die of heat)

Whistleblowers like Edward Snowden being given 35 year sentences while shooting an unarmed teenager equals zero are not rarities in our society.

Some of the biggest crimes have never nor will ever even be publicly shared.

We live in a world of monsters.   And sometimes people react.  They blow up.   We see this on the news almost regularly.  We see children mowed down in schools.  We see children killed by Chemical weapons in places like Syria.

There seems to be no forethought about retribution for actions or deeds?

When I read that pink letter above as offensive as it is I hear a voice of someone that’s horribly frustrated and probably near their tipping point.

How horrible a strain it must be for the parent of that child.  24/7 care with probably nowhere near the support they need.    20-30 years ago children like that might be in residential facilities.   While out of the public’s sight for the most part it was decided that it would be better to integrate patients into society.   There were studies to prove it was the right move, but what happened here in Ontario and in most places is that the supports were not really put in place.   A lot of people were lost and fell through the cracks.  Have you seen movies or tv shows where ex-cons commit crimes right away because they felt safer in prison?

There is a whole industry given to the care of people with developmental handicaps.   They’re usually strained and underfunded.

People with mental illnesses are usually just drugged up instead of really treated.   Sometimes a patient will not take their meds or sometimes they just have not been diagnosed or treated properly and they become Sammy Yatim; or they end up suffering and causing suffering.   Many times they end up in jail.

Or in suicide that then is covered up.

You see I’m a grumpy old man.     As editor of a newspaper I see and hear things which I can’t even print for a number of reasons.   I see the inhumanity that exists within humanity.

And it’s not getting better.  It’s corrupt.  It’s broken; and frankly if people are not aware how can they fix it?   How can you hold someone accountable if they  don’t know what’s been done?

Even in our fair city of Cornwall we have two whistleblowing cases.   We have elected officials brutally beating down opposition and spending millions of tax dollars to cover up and defend their positions which the public barely know much about.  We have the person who committed elder abuse in a seniors residence still working while the people that reported him have suffered immensely.   Does that make sense?

I myself was the victim of abuse by elected officials using police force to manhandle a situation.  While that is now being dealt with what’s most alarming is that certain agencies that claim to be there to protect our rights or raise millions fighting for rights of other people hide from this issue just like so many people hide from bigger issues.

At the end of the day it all starts with personal courtesy and personal accountability.   And that’s something that’s hard to change.

Have you ever stopped someone in a grocery checkout line who clearly had double or triple the amount of items in an express line?   Horrified looks from the cashier and usually some guff from the goofball who clearly doesn’t care that others may need to get through a line quickly.

Have you ever blown the whistle on something?   Usually the messenger is treated horribly.  Today our MPP even stated that health care agencies in Ontario are afraid to voice concerns about matters for fear of losing their funding.   Can you even envision how sinister and wrong that truly is?

If you’re still reading at this point I probably should apologize.  I know I’m venting to an uncaring world.    I know that more people that read this are the type of people that don’t care about being courteous to their neighbors or being respectful to each other.

I get that.   It’s sad.   But it’s more sad that some people; like the woman that wrote that pink letter are pushed over the line by probably far more than that poor Autistic child who probably had one too many vaccinations by some uncaring company, that was regulated by some uncaring politician, that was elected to office by some uncaring voter who liked the tie worn by the politician more than the other guy or gal running for office.

Isn’t our world such a total mess?

Jamie Gilcig – Editor – CFN

(Comments and opinions of Editorials, Letters to the Editor, and comments from readers are purely their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the owners of this site, their staff, or sponsors.)

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English Lassie
English Lassie

@Jamie You are so right, our world has lost compassion for eachother. Easier to let evil exist & thrive then get our selfish arses off the couch & fight for what is right. The day The Lord’s Prayer was taken out of our schools was the day we allowed all of our values be slowly eroded away. Parents work, day cares raise children; we get what we give… I stand by this Mother who chooses to raise & care for her austic son, the crazy scribbler of that hate filled letter needs to take a long hard look in the… Read more »

David Oldham
David Oldham

Courtesy most definitely exists. Although once more prevalent amongst the average population it serves now as perhaps more of a separation of the classes.

As Cornwall has learned, this very separation has proven itself to be the greatest barrier or hurdle to its growth and image.

Imagine how this could change say if the Cornwall Chamber of Commerce had the wherewithal to promote the concept of simple courtesy amongst its members. Merchants staff actually thanking patrons for their business. I would shop in such a place !


You hit on many points which all boil down to lack of compassion for our fellow man,this poor mom needs praise for willing & being able to take care of her son Kudos to her .We all need to pay it forward & do something nice for a friend,neighbour even a complete stranger,I agree with English Lassie that taking the Lord,s prayer out of schools & also Christ out of Christmas begins a slippery slope of allowing others to make choices for us instead of standing up & yelling this is not ok…..Get off that couch write letters hold rallies… Read more »


Wow what a venomous letter .

Just when you think nothing surprises you about human nature something like this letter is a rude awakening .

I am truly discusted ,compassion and empathy should be the hallmark of a civilized society,this Rant by this woman should shake us to the core and question our moral integerity as a species .
But most won’t even bat an eye.

Reality check
Reality check

I read a story once where a lady questioned why a God who was all caring could allow a mass gun man to enter a school and kill innocent children the answer to her was simple ,we all stood by and allowed the politicians to remove the crosses the Lords prayer and the word Christmas and songs of its celebration as to not offend instead of using all symbols as a learning tool towards harmony among students so why would she feel he should be there at a time of need when he was told he was no longer needed… Read more »

PJ Robertson
PJ Robertson

Beautiful piece, Jamie. One of your best, and CFN at its best.

It’s true, we live in a crazy-fast, angry, uncaring, me-first world, in which only the winners and power brokers seem to count. And that’s the world the media and television mostly capitalize on.

It’s not the only world, though, thank goodness. There’s another where, as David Oldham says and your writing implies, “Courtesy most definitely exists.” Amazing how far a kind word or action can take us, and how good it makes us feel. John Lennon’s “Imagine” was right on.


I haven’t read the letter but I only heard about it and I cannot read the fine print at my age and no glasses. I have heard something about this. What do you think folks when the Lord’s Prayer is taken from the schools, government buildings, etc. and just take a very good look at society today and I would love to hear what you have to say. The schools have bullies galore in them and nobody respects the other people. The same thing on other jobs – bullies and people call themselves Christians. When the “antichrist” shows up before… Read more »


With just some minor edits, this letter might better be sent to the Cyrus family.