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There’s a long history of toilet humour in comedy, and some of it’s fun.  It’s interesting watching Dwight and Jimmy develop as comic talent right from their basement lair in Cornwall Ontario.

The boys roll Sunday nights at 7 PM with repeats available via podcast.

I visited their studio Sunday night to catch some of the mayhem and hijinks.    Please note this video is not for kiddies unless they’re practicing for the next remake of the Bad News Bears!

VIDEO WARNING PROFANITY – CUSS WORDS – GUARANTEED TO OFFEND

DON’T BLAME US IF YOU CHOOSE TO CLICK!

In a town bereft of much original culture it’s fun to see where  Jimmy and Dwight will go.   Right now they’re hoping to get some of the fans to kick in some cash so they can get more equipment and be more professional.

Funny radio commercials, reading odd and wacky news stories, but mostly dropping F bombs and insulting just about everyone with their brand of offensive and usually border line comedy is the specialty of JDwhenever broadcast Sunday nights at 7 PM EST.

You can check out their website by clicking HERE.

CFN -Coffey’s Coffee and the Island Ink Jet and Laser Toners are please to be able to offer samples of two of the world’s rarest coffees, Kopu Luwak and Reunion Island. The coffees will be served at the Island Ink Jet at 8 Third St. West on Friday morning, 18 May 2012 for a nominal price.

There is a very limited supply of these rare and expensive coffees so it will be first come first serve for as long as the supply lasts.

If you are a true coffee lover this is an opportunity to taste these legendary coffees.

Warning…There is a down side to this event. If you happen to fall in love with these spectacular coffees their retail price is about $140 per lb!

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The extensive renovations to the vintage building are almost complete.  The liquor license has been approved and the final steps of preparation are being completed!

Vintage Truffles Video Commercial shot by KAV Productions!

There’s been a void in the downtown core of Cornwall that should be filled with the much larger and amazingly designed new Truffles!

We will be updating this story shortly!

pictured are conveners of the event, -Sharon Fraser (left) and Vale Brownell (right).

CFN  - In recognition of the Sixtieth Anniversary of the Accession to the Throne by Queen Elizabeth II, the Lost Villages Historical Society will host “HER MAJESTY’S DIAMOND JUBILEE TEA”, to be held on Saturday, May 26, 2012, from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm, at the Township of South Stormont Community Hall (at the new South Stormont Township Hall), Mille Roches Road, Long Sault.

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Mark your calendar and plan to join the members of the historical society as they mark this historic royal occasion. Admission is $8.00, and will include fancy sandwiches and desserts, and tea/coffee.

Since Her Majesty is so fond of beautiful hats, it is hoped that the ladies will wear their fancy hats for this occasion.  The historical society will showcase artifacts and documents from its collection.

Reservations are not required, however if you have a group and wish a set time, please call one of the co-convenors, -Sharon Fraser at (613-534-8534) or Vale Brownell at (613-537-2531).

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The Church has a long history of venerating relics, which is well rooted in Scripture (2 Kings 13:20-21, Matthew 9:20-22, Acts 5:12-15, Acts 19:11-12) and Tradition. Saints and their relics are not objects of worship, but are to be honoured in a manner that acknowledges God’s work in their lives.

The word relic is from Latin and means “remains” or “left behind”. Relics generally fall into one of three categories. A first class relic is an item directly associated with the life of Christ (i.e. a piece of the True Cross) or the body or a portion of the body of a martyr or other Saint; (i.e. bone, flesh, or hair). The bodies of some Saints have been miraculously preserved, not suffering the usual decay. A second class relic is an item or piece of an item worn, owned by the Saint or used to torture the Saint (i.e. clothing, Bible, Mass vestment, a fragment from an item used to torture or kill the Saint). A third class relic is something that a Saint touched or that has been touched to a first or second class relic (such as a piece of cloth). Anyone with access can create a third class relic. 95% of the relics that Fr. Martins’ travels with are in the first class category.

Through his ministry, known as the Treasures of the Church, people are helped to experience God powerfully and a to have a deeper encounter with the Communion of Saints. Martins refers to his work as a ministry of evangelization and healing.

His presentation and “walk with the Saints” is not like anything you’ve ever likely encountered previously. He has come to expect that each person attending one of these sessions will discover one Saint that will communicate with them in a personal way. He challenges each of us to come and find our Saint.

During these events it is not uncommon to have testimonies of God’s healing touch through the intercession of the Saints, including reports of healing from heart conditions, and cancer, sometimes by the hundreds or thousands according to Martins.   Fr. Martins is always most deeply moved by the healing of the human soul, thereby removing obstacles to receiving eternal life. The priest declares: “You can’t go to heaven with a heart that has shut God out. You can’t go to heaven with unforgiveness in your heart. You can’t go to heaven by refusing to participate in the Sacraments and live your Catholic identity. You just can’t. ”

The Diocese of Alexandria-Cornwall welcomes everyone to an exposition of over 150 of Fr. Martins’ 900 Sacred Relics.

Among the treasures will be relics of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Anthony of Padua, and St. Faustina. In addition, there will also be present a piece of a veil which is believed to have belonged to Mary, the Mother of Jesus and one of the largest remaining pieces of the True Cross.

The exhibit will be set up at the Agora Catholic Centre (former Nativity Hall) at 301 McConnell Avenue and will be open today, Thursday, May 3 at 7:00 p.m. and again on Saturday, May 5 at 10:00 a.m. Fr. Carlos Martins of the Companions of the Cross, the curator of this exhibit, will present a one hour talk followed by a tour of the relics. There is no cost, however there will be a free-will offering to help with costs.  More information can be found atwww.treasuresofthechurch.com .

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From the band:

 hey folks, Jim from Gypsy Here. You know, If being a musician wasn’t so much fun, doing all this prep work ourselves is entirely too much work. Glamorous? oh yeah, spending the next couple days putting together CDs for Saturday. Oh well…that’s what days off are for! Speaking of which , we got our hands on a finished, complete copy of NOW PLAYING, all artwork in place….

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Man , it looks killer! We’ll be saying this Saturday, but many thanks to Jason McNamara from Framed Photography for the Stellar shots, and to Mr. Glenn Mcgillivary of the Port Theater who let us use his Theater for our cover. You can see the results yourself on Saturday, May 5th, 2012 @ Lolas’ Bar on 616 Pitt Street. Come on down!!

So support your local music scene Saturday night at Lola’s!

Some items available:
- Stereo Systems
- Construction Materials and Tools
- Household Goods, Artifacts, and Small Appliances
- Gas Generator
- Toys of all sorts
- 2 Mopeds, Motobecane, Mobylette (1949+) from France
- Cassettes, CD’s, DVD’s, Albums, Xboxes
- Motorcycle Helmets
- Miscellaneous Auto Parts and Accessories
- Fishing gear
- Office Equipment
- Skates and Sporting equipment
- And much, much more (plus other vendors and their wares)

Attention Vendors:

At this time of posting, we have six 10′ x 10′ spaces available at $15.00 each.

6′ Table rentals are at $3.00 each.

Setup is Friday, May 4, from 7pm – 10pm.

Street signs on day of event, sandwich boards at Benson Center and access roads.

This is the first of regularly scheduled events.

Contact information:
Peter and Claudia Brodka – 613-935-7929. Hope to hear from you by Friday, at noon.

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It is the story of a young boy who’s new social studies teacher has assigned the class the task of coming up with an idea to change the world and act upon it. Trevor played by Haley Joel Osment decides that he will do 3 big favours for 3 people that they cannot do for themselves. Rather than pay back the favour to Trevor, they must “Pay it Forward” to 3 other people.  The next thing that happens is Helen Hunt to shouting at Trevor’s teacher asking why Trevor brought a homeless man into her house.   I won’t spoil the movie for you.  It is worth seeing because it makes you really think.

This “pay it forward” concept can be seen everywhere if we just look.  A son of a friend of mine has been chosen to represent Canada at the World Disabled Hockey Championship in Finland in May.  Max aged 16 has been a volunteer at a telethon each year to raise money for Handicap transport for the last 10 years with no thought of personal reward.  Now with a need himself to fund the trip to Finland, he has received “pay it forward” donations so that he can represent Canada.

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On April 17th the Rotary Clubs of Cornwall had their annual dinner to recognize outstanding Members of our community that exemplify their motto “service above self”.  “Paul Harris” awards were presented to the following members of our community: Scott Sayers, Barb Edgell, Dr. Rachel Navaneelan, Herman Rogalsky, Bryan Snider, Pat Clark and John Warner.

It is an incredibly strong message.  While big favours or high profile volunteer work may not be your style, the website:  payitforwardday.com has plenty of ideas that can be done by anyone to make the world a better place.

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Check out payitforwardday.com and do something to make this world a better place!

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This evening, guests attending South Stormont’s Volunteer Appreciation Gala Dinner in the adjacent hall will be treated to an advance showing of the more than 1,000 piece collection.

Cornwall Free News was invited for a private pre-screening of the exhibit.  As we arrived a team of volunteers was fussing with putting final touches on the display which took seven people two and a half days to assemble.  Please check out the video clip.  This story will be updated later in the weekend.

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Remember you can visit South Stormont Ontario Online at www. SouthStormont.ca !