Senior Situation Room. By Dawn Ford. Social Distancing for Seniors & Tiger Tales!

Senior Situation Room. By Dawn Ford.  Social Distancing for Seniors & Tiger Tales!

APRIL 29, 2020 – Beek Lindsay Seniors Residence held their annual Easter Food Drive recently to benefit the Food Cupboard at Trinity Anglican Church. A big thank you to all the tenants who donated to help those in need. A very special thank you to Claudette Quesnel who looked after the donated food. It was very much appreciated.

We are being told to wash our hands to two verses of the Happy Birthday song. I timed it and it just about the 20 seconds they recommend. However, you can sing it slower..like Marilyn Monroe did when she was singing it to President Kennedy in 1962…”Happy Birthday , Mr. President”….it may be a bit longer probably.

Here are some Physical Distancing Guidelines from Public Health Ontario:

A friend sent me this important notice which is apparently from the Government of Canada :

“To help save what’s left of the economy, the Government will announce next week that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors in order to lower OAS,CPP and medical costs.

Older people are easier to catch and won’t remember how to get back home.

Be sure to send this notice to your relatives and friends, so they’ll know what happened to you.”

Then she said: ” I started to feel sad when I thought of you. Then, it dawned on me…I’ll see you on the damn bus”. (Just a joke)

Some old expressions from the 50’s or earlier:” Heavens to Murgatroyd, , The buggy whip, Hunky dory, Carbon copy, You sound like a broken record, Hung out to dry, Our best bib and tucker, Straighten up and fly right, Heavens to Betsy, Gee willikers , Jumping Jehoshaphat!, Holey Moley, Living the life of Riley, Knucklehead, Nincompoop, A pill, Not for all the tea in China, Swell, Kilroy was here, Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, Fine Kettle of fish, The milkman did it, It’s your nickel, Knee high to a grasshopper, Fiddlesticks, Going like sixty, I’ll see you in the funny papers, Don’t take any wooden nickels, Wake up and smell the roses, More than Carter has liver pills, Will Superman find a phone booth, See you later alligator, Oh Daddy-O and Okey dokey”. You may remember some others. Lots of fun.

It seems Tiger and my friend’s neighbour’s cat, Gismo, like the same kind of box to sit in, a Royal Canin canned food box.

Tiger, Big Baby!!

Gismo relaxing.

Some funny one liners from a friend:

1) I’ve noticed a lot of you are not posting selfies anymore since the beauty salons have closed.

2) Is it just me or has March 2020 lasted 3 years?

3) I swear my fridge said: “What the hell do you want now?”

4) You think it is bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people home schooled by day drinkers.

5) I’m so bored that I went outside to knock on my own door, then came in and said, “Who is it?”

6) Alexa, what is the weather supposed to be tomorrow? Don’t worry about it! You ain’t going anywhere.

7) Roses are red. April is gray. I pray we can all leave our houses in May.

8) Anyone notice their phone ain’t ringing with scam calls?

9) Do not call the police on suspicious people in the neighbourhood. Those are your neighbours without make- up and hair extensions.

10) First time in history we can save the human race by laying in front of the TV and doing nothing. Let’s not screw this up.

Have a good week. Dawn




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