An Anonymous Ode to Jamie Hubley and the evils of Homophobia & Bullying – October 21, 2011 – Cornwall Ontario

The late Jamie Hubley
CFN –   The following submission was submitted to us on the grounds that we would not disclose the name of its author.  Even in this day and age old fears linger.   Is this the society we truly want for ourselves and our children?
The tragic death of 15-year-old Jamie Hubley of Ottawa has been prominent in the news this week. The cause of death is officially recorded as suicide, but really it was nothing short of murder. The motive for this murder? Honesty. He admitted to being slightly different from other folks, a member of a minority. He was gay. He didn’t try to hide it. But by being gay, he posed such an insurmountable threat to some of the other students at his school that they had to bully him to death, to preserve their own integrity and sexuality.
Just last summer I was thinking about how relatively easy it is to be gay today. It has become at least semi-OK to admit one’s sexuality, the genetics you inherited from your parents and were born with, over which you has no control. Times were finally changing, or so I thought.
I was wrong.  Although many teens are now more open about their sexuality, life is certainly no easier now than it was in my day.   As a teen, I had to be very quiet about my identity. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, because there was no such thing as honest sex education in schools then, and going to a Catholic school, what little there was was severely diluted. Any serious or factual talk about homosexuality was unknown. School kids would refer disparagingly to someone as a “bloody homo,” but that was it. There was nothing in the newspapers, nothing on radio or TV, no internet, nothing. Maybe the idea was that if one didn’t ever talk about it, it would either go away, or stay securely locked in a dark closet. All I knew was that I liked another boy, and had no particular desire to have sex with a girl. I was totally alone in the world, truly a stranger in a strange land, a unique, one-of-a-kind perverted misfit, society’s garbage.
I couldn’t even tell my best friend in case anyone found out, because I would have been killed. I can’t honestly say that I loved this boy, but he really was my best friend, we could talk about just about anything, his parents liked me, mine liked him. Had I known at the time that he was almost certainly gay too, with the same paralysing fears as me, maybe life would have been different. But we knew nothing about sexuality of any kind in those days, so how could we ever talk about something we didn’t even know existed?
If I could be fifteen again, and go to high school, knowing what I know now, would I admit to being gay? Until I heard the news about Jamie Hubley last Friday, the answer would have been yes. Asking myself the same question today, a few hours after Jamie’s funeral, the only honest answer would have to be I don’t know.
I know all about bullies, from both sides. I was bullied mercilessly from first grade to graduation. I had a lot going against me, stuff like ADHD, which must have made life really hard for my grade 1 teacher, whom I loved. I was also extremely bright. These days, I would be labelled as “gifted.” Even as a five-year-old, I could read fluently, with very little help. Maybe if I’d been a little less gifted, or a little more gifted, life would have been different. As it was, I was smarter than a fifth-grader, but not smart enough to shut up about it. Another boy’s parents, who knew mine, were jealous of my success, because they thought it should have been their son in my place. They bullied him without mercy to succeed, as only immigrants can. In the end, the poor boy didn’t know what to do, but being popular at school, he got together a little gang of his young friends, throwing me down a flight of stairs, beating me up, and giving me a concussion.
When I was nine, I was in a school where two of the teachers were absolute bitches. I’m sure Pink Floyd, in their portrayal of the “mad and psychopathic [teachers’ wives] who would beat them within inches of their lives” took their inspiration from these two. The grade 2 teacher (luckily I never had her) would take it upon herself to parade some hapless boy on whom she’d found a louse throughout the whole school. Her “twin” hated everyone, but especially me. I was her special target. Under her teaching, I forgot how to read and write. I did actually learn from her, however. I learned a fear of math, and the sure certainty that there is a hell, here and in the afterlife. She created one for me, and I just know in my heart she is in it now.
But she taught me something else as well, something for which I am deeply ashamed. If I had the chance to go back in time and right some of the wrongs I have done, this would be the first. She taught me the feeling of power and triumph that comes with being a bully.
There was another boy in my class, one of the smallest, quiet, and highly intelligent. My own life was so low that I beat the hell out of him one afternoon, on the way home from school. I wasn’t thinking of the consequences, I wasn’t old or mature enough to understand how he would feel. I was just so powerless and overwhelmed myself that I needed to get even.
I got lucky that night, because I’d picked on the right boy. When the boy’s father came to our house later that evening, I think his son must have told him something of my story, how my life was hell, because he convinced my parents to be very careful how they handled this situation. My parents didn’t beat the shit out of me, as I probably deserved. Instead, they made me see that I had done wrong, and made me apologize and understand how this other boy must have felt. As time went on, my parents and his became life-long friends, and we became good friends.
Do any of Jamie Hubley’s bullies have parents like mine? I doubt it. Instead they’ll be out defending their little bastards, who, at their age, are old enough to know better. They’ll tell everyone who’ll listen how threatened and insecure their child felt because Jamie was gay, and how kids like Jamie are going to bring down all our cherished Canadian values and Christian institutions.    In high school the bullying was even worse. Other kids would call me gay, or worse. I was regularly beaten up. When I was about fourteen or fifteen, another kid shot at me with an air rifle (luckily he missed). There was a whole culture of bullying at my high school, which, while they didn’t actively condone it, the administration did nothing to stop. There was only one priest there who ever tried genuinely to help me, and God Bless him, we remained friends until he died a few years ago.
One day, on a Friday afternoon towards the end of the school day, I was surrounded by about half a dozen or so of the bullies. I blew up. I totally went berserk, and I beat the living daylights out of one of them. When I was sent to the principal’s office, he wanted to punish me for getting in a fight by giving me another beating (legally – it was called corporal punishment, now mercifully illegal). He seemed to forget all the black eyes I’d had, the bruises that covered my body for weeks at a time, the number of bike tires slashed, the homework assignments stolen, the list goes on. I believe I lost my temper again, because I must have said something right for once. I did not get yet another beating, the bullying stopped, and I even got into another class, that I had wanted to be in for four years, with my friends and away from the bullies.
Did I do the right thing? Violence is not a good solution, but for me, it was the only way out. Not even my parents could do anything about the problem. Most importantly, it gave me some reason to carry on, and not kill myself.
I said earlier that the parents of Jamie’s bullies will do everything to protect and excuse them. That’s a broad statement, but it’s well thought out. The question is why will they protect their little bastards, other than the natural instinct of a parent to protect its child? The answer is, society and our leaders tell us it’s OK to go gay bashing.
n Cornwall, we have “Pastor” Tom Newton, a smug little hypocrite who is obviously filled with massive amounts of self-loathing, which he spews onto everyone he hates. He has no logic, he cannot back up any of what he says with facts. All he can do is quote scripture, out of context. He can’t debate, argue, or defend his position, all he can do is Google his bible. He pretends to be a leader, and unfortunately, in the name of free speech, the local media give him a soap box and a certain amount of credibility by allowing him to call himself a minister.
In the last provincial election, Tim Hudak tried to legitimise these bullies and their parents, with a homophobic pamphlet designed to cause fear. Taking a few phrases wildly out of context (he’s even better than the pastor in this regard), he tried to convince voters that the Toronto School Board and the McGuinty Government were hell-bent on turning their children gay.   One of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s campaign points was that his main rival, George Smitherman, was gay.
In such a climate, is it really surprising that homophobia, organized or not, still exists and influences people who lack either the ability or desire to see the real truth? It gets pushed upon us, quietly and underhandedly, in a way that breaks no law, by the very people we allow to lead us.
We imprison people who deny the truth about the Nazi Holocaust, because such denial is the first step to having history repeat itself. So why do we allow people to subtly influence others, for their own selfish and fearful agendas, to bully, hurt, and sometimes kill innocent people like Jamie? Maybe we can’t realistically shut them up, but do we have to give them a platform? Maybe that’s what we need, as a society, to debate: do we sanction the persecution of an innocent kid, who only wanted to love and be loved, or do we stop those who encourage the hatred?
Jamie Hubley was intelligent, he had guts, he was loved and accepted by his family, and accepted everyone else. He had everything to live for, and would no doubt have overcome his problems. But the bullies, and a society that allows and encourages them, took that away from him, They took him away from his family, his friends, and from a boy who would have accepted and returned his love.
Late this afternoon, just a few hours after Jamie’s funeral, the sun came out, creating a perfect rainbow, solid and bright, the colors even and distinct, from horizon to horizon. The “Pastor” will no doubt spout more of his evil at this suggestion, but I believe it is a sign that Jamie is now happy in heaven, with the God who made and always loved him. Why wasn’t he allowed to experience some degree of happiness here, in this life?
Team Cornwall


  1. “The “Pastor” will no doubt spout more of his evil at this suggestion, but I believe it is a sign that Jamie is now happy in heaven, with the God who made and always loved him. Why wasn’t he allowed to experience some degree of happiness here, in this life?”

    The “sign” is this – whosoever in repentance of sin(s) believes upon the Lord Jesus Christ shall be saved. The rainbow is God’s sign that He will not destroy the earth by the judgment of water for the sins of mankind. There is forgiveness of sins and new pure life in Christ. Such new life gives hope, peace, and acceptance before God and man.

    If such repentance and faith does not issue in a new holy living in conformity to God’s Word of morality, such is wishful thinking, a baseless hope, and even bordering on fairy tales. Christ came not save us in our sins but from our sins. “Go and sin do more” says the Lord to the adulterous woman in John 8.

    To die with without an active, overcoming faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, is to seal one’s destiny in Hell. Joh 10:10 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly”. The thief here is Satan. It is the thief’s purpose to deceive poor sinners in thinking that sin is aright to do in God’s eyes. “God is too loving to judge us for our sins, and sinful life style choices” says the Father of lies. Consider what the Lord Jesus says to this line of thinking – Joh 5:12 -15 “Then asked they him, What man is that which said unto thee, Take up thy bed, and walk? And he that was healed wist not who it was: for Jesus had conveyed himself away, a multitude being in that place. Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee. The man departed, and told the Jews that it was Jesus, which had made him whole”.

    “Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee”. It is a sad thing for sure that Jamie took his life, it is a sad thing for the family, and friends to face. It is very easy, and often the case, to end up blaming others for such a tragic event. Consider the writers own words –

    “Did I do the right thing? Violence is not a good solution, but for me, it was the only way out. Not even my parents could do anything about the problem. Most importantly, it gave me some reason to carry on, and not kill myself. I said earlier that the parents of Jamie’s bullies will do everything to protect and excuse them. That’s a broad statement, but it’s well thought out. The question is why will they protect their little bastards, other than the natural instinct of a parent to protect its child? The answer is, society and our leaders tell us it’s OK to go gay bashing”. The end justifies the means!

    There is hope and new life in Christ. There is peace with God, and God’s strength from within – the indwelling Holy Spirit. There is forgiveness of sins, and a new beginning of purity, of right living! If we reject God’s gracious solution to life’s problems, and try to work it out with out God, and it ends in such a tragic even – don’t blame God, nor the ones who bring the Good News of salvation from sin and self.

  2. Excellent piece by the anonymous writer, and he/she has the preacher described perfectly.

  3. It is not ok to bully homosexuals, and such like, but it’s ok to bully Christians! Is that how it is in your book – Dr.?

  4. tnpreacher555, you are the bully here.

  5. Excellent article, so well written that an open minded reader can feel what it is like to be, not only marginalized but almost demonized. We should have evolved past that by now.

  6. The preacher is a Christian? That’s almost funny. As I said, the writer has the preacher described perfectly.
    Using some asinine religion, or form thereof, to spread hate is just about the lowest and most cowardly thing that a person can do. It’s been going on for thousands of years, and the preacher is just carrying on the tradition.

  7. “We should have evolved past that by now” –

    Yes Kathy that is what the religion of evolution teachers, but the Bible teaches de-evolution! When will we get past killing the unborn? When will we get past the breaking up of families, marriages, etc? When will we get pass the stress and anxiety over not accepting our creative manhood and womanhood from God? The problem is that we are all sinners in need of deliverance from the penalty and power of Sin. To define the power that sin has over us – lawlessness, rebellion against God’s authority, living for self. Each sin we commit makes us more liable to the judgment of God – “wages of sin is death”.

    Rom 3:10 -19 “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery are in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes. Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God”.

    God solution – 1Ti 1:15 “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief”.

    Kathy, don’t wait to long for evolution to save you, it won’t happen. Run to the Savior of the World!

  8. “De-evolution”? Back into caves, trees, the ocean?

  9. No PJR! Meaning – man’s heart and behavior is not getting better, but worse! Sin is abounding. God is removing His restraining Hand, as we ripen for Divine destruction and judgment.

  10. According to Harold Camping yet again, the big guy was supposed to destroy the planet yesterday. This rapture BS, while a little amusing, is wearing pretty thin.

  11. No buddy believes Harold Camping, not even most Christians – Mat 24:36 But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

  12. My buddy Jethro believes what Camping says, but I think he’s starting to have some doubts.

  13. I am not a huge fan of bullies, I can tell you in high school I was reprimanded for aiding the challenged kids for stuffing a bully in a locker at CCVS. But I had made a whole new line of good friends just for helping out broke a bit of a barrier at the time as well.

    However as our social beliefs changed and more of the people seen a potential future and life time career in creating social disorder. Is it not possible we have lowered the definition of bullying to fit a social structure destined to promote a mediocre social structure?

    As for the homophobia perhaps those not believing in same sex arrangements are not really that off the path ….If we look to mother nature there is in no way homosexual can reproduce. Could it be that is what was intended? They cannot reproduce because it was a genealogical mistake.

    Yes they can have other people have babies and adopt. Yet that is again a social structure created by the same people that has lowered the definition of bullying to maintain a mediocre social structure.

    Sorry preacher this concept is leaving the big guy on the side lines and having just mother nature herself controlling what has to be done

  14. Smee – mother nature has nothing to do with a man or woman making a life style choice of sin!

  15. @ Smee, perhaps homosexuality is one of Mother Nature’s ways to control population growth. It sure is a lot better option than all those Malthusian events which kills off millions of people in a short period of time through natural disasters.

  16. Preacher
    yet again you seem to lack the ability to understand the content of duscussions.

    But then again judging by your answer it is gods offering of free will that permits his children to make the decisions they do, and mother natures is responsible to clean it up?

  17. Hey tnpreacher55, you make me sick to my gut! How dare you hide behind scripture, quote the Bible and manipulate it to make your narrow point of view somehow hold some kind of meaning. You are what is wrong with our society.The fact is that Diversity scares the crap out of you. You know the old saying, “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature”, cause when the storm hits and the earth cracks beneath you, you will cry out Oh My God!! But that wont save ya, your in Her grip now!! The meek shall inherit the earth, not the Righteous!

  18. God vs Science (A short, enlightening story about faith)

    Let me explain the problem science has with religion.
    The professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
    You’re a Christian, aren’t you, son?
    Yes sir, the student says.

    So you believe in God?
    Is God good?
    Sure! God’s good.
    Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?

    Are you good or evil?
    The Bible says I’m evil.
    The professor grins knowingly.
    Aha! The Bible!

    He considers for a moment.
    Here’s one for you.
    Let’s say there’s a sick person over here and you can cure him.
    You can do it.
    Would you help him?
    Would you try?
    Yes sir, I would.
    So you’re good…!
    I wouldn’t say that.
    But why not say that? You’d help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could.
    But God doesn’t.

    The student does not answer, so the professor continues. ‘He doesn’t, does he?
    My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him..
    How is this Jesus good? Can you answer that one?’
    The student remains silent..
    ‘No, you can’t, can you?’ the professor says.

    He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
    ‘Let’s start again, young fella.
    Is God good?’
    ‘Er..yes,’ the student says.
    ‘Is Satan good?’
    The student doesn’t hesitate on this one.
    ‘Then where does Satan come from?’
    The student falters. ‘From God’
    ‘That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t he?
    Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?’
    ‘Yes, sir…’
    ‘Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it?
    And God did make everything, correct?’
    ‘So who created evil?’
    The professor continued, ‘If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.’
    Again, the student has no answer.

    Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
    All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?’
    The student squirms on his feet. ‘Yes.’
    ‘So who created them?’
    The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question.
    ‘Who created them?’
    There is still no answer.
    Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom.
    The class is mesmerized.
    ‘Tell me,’ he continues onto another student.
    ‘Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?’
    The student’s voice betrays him and cracks. ‘Yes, professor, I do.’

    The old man stops pacing.
    ‘Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
    Have you ever seen Jesus?’
    ‘No sir. I’ve never seen Him.’
    ‘Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus?’
    ‘No, sir, I have not..’
    ‘Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus?
    Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?’
    ‘No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.’
    ‘Yet you still believe in him?’
    ‘According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist…
    What do you say to that, son?’
    ‘Nothing,’ the student replies.. ‘I only have my faith.’

    ‘Yes, faith,’ the professor repeats. ‘And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.’

    The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. ‘Professor, is there such thing as heat?’
    ‘Yes. ’
    ‘And is there such a thing as cold?’
    ‘Yes, son, there’s cold too.’
    ‘No sir, there isn’t.’
    The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.
    The room suddenly becomes very quiet.
    The student begins to explain.
    ‘You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything called ‘cold’.
    We can hit down to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that.
    There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.
    Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy.
    Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.
    You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.
    We cannot measure cold.
    Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.
    Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.’
    Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

    ‘What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?’
    ‘Yes,’ the professor replies without hesitation..
    ‘What is night if it isn’t darkness?’
    ‘You’re wrong again, sir.
    Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something.
    You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it?
    That’s the meaning we use to define the word.
    In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?’
    The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.
    This will be a good semester.
    ‘So what point are you making, young man?’
    ‘Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.’
    The professor’s face cannot hide his surprise this time. ‘Flawed? Can you explain how?’
    ‘You are working on the premise of duality,’ the student explains…
    ‘You argue that there is life and then there’s death; a good God and a bad God.
    You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.
    Sir, science can’t even explain a thought.’
    ‘It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

    To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
    Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.’ ‘Now tell me, professor..
    Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?’
    ‘If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.’
    ‘Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?’
    The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
    ‘Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?’
    The class is in uproar.
    The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
    ‘To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean..’ The student looks around the room.
    ‘Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain?’
    The class breaks out into laughter.
    ‘Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt the professor’s brain?
    No one appears to have done so.
    So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.’
    ‘So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?’
    Now the room is silent.
    The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
    Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers.
    ‘I Guess you’ll have to take them on faith.’
    ‘Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,’ the student continues.
    ‘Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?’
    Now uncertain, the professor responds, ‘Of course, there is. We see it everyday.
    It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.’
    To this the student replied, ‘Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself.
    Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.
    God did not create evil.
    Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart.
    It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.’
    The professor sat down.

    PS: The student was Albert Einstein.
    Albert Einstein wrote a book titled “God vs. Science in 1921″…

  19. @ Stan. I think it’s more a case of the preacher vs sanity.

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