Pastor Tom Newton LTE response to Mary Anne Pankhurst In Wear a Pink Shirt Day Story

Lennon_imagine“Pastor Tom. Is abortion part of that human pecking order? (You asked) Yes. I believe John Lennon said women are the niggers of the world. Females are dirt, pretty much from womb to tomb. They’re aborted, murdered, violated and enslaved every few minutes”.

Mary Anne Pankhurst – I am glad I do not, and along with many other Christian husbands and fathers, queue up behind such a one as John Lennon. If anyone has been “bullied” and misused, and unappreciated are our wives, daughters, and females in general. The reason is that we, men and women are sinners from birth, and since both all fallen, self love rules! The man seeks to dominate the woman, the woman seek to overthrow all manner of authority over her – whether good or bad authority. Adam was the first masculinist and Eve was the first feminist. God did not make them that way, meaning it was not His original design in creation. The entrance of sin into our existence and experience can only explain why men want to dominate inordinately, and women want to rebel inordinately. Both can not be god! If you want a root cause of all “bullying” – it is a heart issue of sin. One needs a God given definition of bullying and sin first before any real solution of grace can be applied.

The Scriptures declare – Gal. 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus”. But it also says – 1Cor. 11:3 “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God”. All one in Christ, equal access to the Heavenly Father and His grace for all that are believers, but God has also set up an order of delegated authority or headship. How can both be true, and how can both work – grace! God Rectifying At the Core of the Enmity: a new heart of love in Christ. Notice how both love and submission is shown by the example of the Lord Jesus Christ:

Eph. 5:23-25 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. John Lennon could and would never do this! This is not just an example to follow; it is God’s mandate to obey.

I am a traditionalist, and hold to patriarchical leadership in the world, home, and church. Of course that is what the inspired Scriptures set forth, so I seek to obey the only God given authority for all mankind. I love my wife, and my daughters. I teach them by word and by example that God’s revealed order in the home is the best, and will work when grace is in all of our hearts. No where in the Bible and in the practice of the Word of God do we believe nor practice that – “Females are dirt, pretty much from womb to tomb. They’re aborted, murdered, violated and enslaved every few minutes”.

I understand that much is done against women in the name of religion, but religion fails because grace is not relied upon and received into the heart. Grace will bring us back to what God intended for all of our good and for His glory before sin entered in. Grace sets forth the Lord Jesus loving the church, as His bride. Grace is there to help us to want to obey and yes, in practice be like our Heavenly Husband when it comes to loving our wives and daughters. I could not do it in any other way.

Pastor Tom Newton

Calvary Baptist Church

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 River Kings

55 Comments

  1. I see Yoko Ono did a good job teaching John her feminism. Remember Eve was the first feminist, and all the daughters of Eve follow in her footsteps, until grace intervenes.

  2. Gotta keep them dang women under control and in their proper place!
    You da man to do it, Mr. Preacher.

  3. Furtz- who are you or anyone to tell us a woman’s proper place? Not even a woman has that right? I choose to submit to the inspired, revelation of God’s Holy Word on this subject, so what is your authority? Exo 23:2 “Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment”.

    In the final analysis, all you have is your opinion and what you think, just like any other fallen, sinful creature under God’s heaven. I have what God has said on the matter. And yes, I know what you think about God, but the important question is – What does God think of you? Dan 5:27″… Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting”.

  4. Newton: “I am a traditionalist, and hold to patriarchical leadership in the world, home, and church.”
    Patriarchy = Men rule..women obey. Pretty good deal if you are a man. Not so good if you aren’t. Having power over women seems to be a big thing to most religious fanatics.

  5. Furtz you forgot one very important word Patriarchy = Men lovingly rule..women lovingly obey.

  6. I wouldn’t want to be in Tom Newton’s parish. He seems very controlling.

  7. @ Hugger. “Very controlling” is about the most kind way to describe it.

  8. Hugger1 writes – “I wouldn’t want to be in Tom Newton’s parish. He seems very controlling”. First of all Hugger1, a parish is a Roman Catholic, Anglican, ect. term. If you are going to describe us in proper terms then a congregation is the right term to us, so as Baptist we are congregationalists. Congregationalist not only describes how we meet, but the form of church government that we hold to – each member of the congregation has one vote. The pastor has one vote too! So all matters are put before the congregation in a legal business meeting and each member has a say and then we vote. Sounds “very controlling” to me too?

  9. My apologies if I used the wrong term. But I (& I think most everyone else) have better things to do than to try and find out what members are called for any organization in our world.

    As for one member / one vote. That is fine in principle. But having you say you have no control is like Bob Kilger saying he has no control over city council. You and Bob Kilger are the leaders and thus do have control over what happens and how things are done.

  10. And, of course, the women in the congregation get one vote each as well. No?

  11. “But having you say you have no control is like Bob Kilger saying he has no control over city council”- where did I write that?

    The Scriptures clearly teach the requirements, and qualifications in character and experience for a pastor, elder, overseer. Also the Scriptures teach the role and duties of the pastor – as leader, as a family man, as a preacher/teacher of the Word of God. Check out 1 Timothy 3, and Titus 1-2 for details of what the Bible has to teach. The Scriptures are what is to be used to evaluate a pastor, not what is socially accepted. The pastor is accountable first to the Word of God, as personally called of God to that office, and secondly to the local congregation which he oversees.

    1Peter 5:2-4 “Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away”.

  12. So if the men “lovingly” rule over their women in your congregation, and the women “lovingly” obey, do the women “lovingly” vote the way they are “lovingly” told? Or are the women “lovingly” told to go into the kitchen to “lovingly” bake cookies while the men vote?

  13. I don’t know why you publicly attacked me, Pastor Tom. Especially for mentioning one thing we seem to agree on, and that is the dehumanization of women (through violence, control and subjugation) which occurs across all ages, cultures and religions.

    Do you have any thought that your letter is an act of violence towards me, simply for mentioning a fact (the abuse of women from womb to tomb) as revealed by statistical and historical evidence?

    I can forgive you if you wrote your letter in haste. And I could go on about the role of patriarchy plays in the abuse of women. But I’ll just leave this quote by Haig Bosmajian about the role of language:

    While the language of racial and ethnic oppression is often blatant and relatively easy to identify, the language of sexism is more subtle and pervasive. Our everyday speech reflects the “superiority” of the male and the “inferiority” of the female, resulting in a master-subject relationship. The language of sexism relegates the woman to the status of children, servants, and idiots, to being the “second sex” and to virtual invisibility . . . . The language of sexism remains with us and exerts an influence on the male’s attitudes towards and control over women and the women’s attitudes towards themselves.

  14. “But having you say you have no control is like Bob Kilger saying he has no control over city council”- where did I write that?”

    You didn’t. But you like to twist words . “”The pastor has one vote too! So all matters are put before the congregation in a legal business meeting and each member has a say and then we vote. Sounds “very controlling” to me too?”

    If you think you have no control over your congregation think again. You are their leader, so as I said “As for one member / one vote. That is fine in principle. You and Bob Kilger are the leaders and thus do have control over what happens and how things are done.” You have influence over how they vote.

  15. Mary Anne Pankhurst – there was no intention of personal attack “Especially for mentioning one thing we seem to agree on”. Which I see now I failed to acknowledge our agreement on this point – I apologized for that. I used you example given by John Lennon, that is all.

    “Do you have any thought that your letter is an act of violence towards me” – This is taking it a little to far, in my opinion. It was in the context of a public forum, with a free exchange of ideas, opinions, and ideologies, that was all. The victim, woe-is-me mentality that we all have can be resolved by receiving new life in Christ.

    And to your new, final comment – read it as you want, I, like my letter stated – “I am a traditionalist, and hold to patriarchical leadership in the world, home, and church. Of course that is what the inspired Scriptures set forth, so I seek to obey the only God given authority for all mankind. I love my wife, and my daughters. I teach them by word and by example that God’s revealed order in the home is the best, and will work when grace is in all of our hearts. No where in the Bible and in the practice of the Word of God do we believe nor practice that – “Females are dirt, pretty much from womb to tomb. They’re aborted, murdered, violated and enslaved every few minutes”.

    Since God has chosen the husband to lovingly lead his home and family in a way that is pleasing to Him, and that brings glory to His name, and yes, that is the best for me and all of God’s creatures, am I to be characterized in an evil light, when it is the fallen, lost world that uses such words as “superior”, as using one’s superiority? Feminism says “The language of sexism remains with us and exerts an influence on the male’s attitudes towards and control over women and the women’s attitudes towards themselves”. Such is expected from all fallen daughters of Eve, no matter what words are used, or what language it is spoken in.

  16. It’s kinda handy having an imaginary god that says that men must rule over women. There’s nothing like a god to legitimize misogyny.

  17. @ Mary Anne Pankhurst. According to Newton and his god, a born-again man has the world by the tail, and will spend eternity in heavenly bliss. Same for a born-again woman, provided that she (lovingly) obeys her born-again man. All others will burn forever in the flames of hell. It’s all pretty simple.

  18. Fallen daughters or daughters put down? How about fallen sons or sons put down? The Bible says _ “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God”. So the righteous judgment of God abides upon all who continue to reject God’s salvation in Christ, and that by faith alone.

    All I can say Mary Anne is what God gives Christians to obey in love. What other religions say God said they could do while having no backing from the Bible is a lie. The Lord Jesus is our example to follow, and He did not support feminism, nor did He support all the man made rules that oppress women. New Testament Christianity does not oppress women, but brings them back to what God wanted them to be when He first created them. Grace is able to make it possible and God’s enablement is there to make it at living reality.

    John 8:36 “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed”.

  19. The mere mention of the N word is offensive. And just because John Lennon used it in a televised interview, and in a song, and that both can be seen on YouTube, it doesn’t give any Christian the warrant to use it himself. “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

    What John Lennon may say does not have the same ring to it when a pastor says it. Have you ever spoken that word from the pulpit?

    But “every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36), whether behind the pulpit, or in the local news media, or in private.

    You may not queue behind John Lennon for what he said, but the very fact that you mentioned his name has given the editor the opportunity to put Lennon’s picture at the head of your letter. That may be out of your control, but it was your name-dropping that gave him the cue.

  20. AltCodes – if you read the beginning of the letter I wrote, as you will see, it is in response of Mary Ann Pankhurst post, and it was she that first used the quote from John Lennon. Which I do not fault Mary Ann for doing, she was giving, as I perceive, a feminist view point on the matter. Just like Lennon’s wife -Yoko Ono did in co-writing the song.

    No, I do not use the n word from the pulpit nor in private, and that with a lot of other words too. By His grace I do not curse, nor swear – How about you? I quoted Mary Ann’s source as a link to what she, and others feel about bullying women, and the extremes in feminism and in non-Christian religions on the treatment of women.

    As for mentioning John Lennon name, get real. Unless you mean to apply the following verse – Jos 23:7 “That ye come not among these nations, these that remain among you; neither make mention of the name of their gods, nor cause to swear by them, neither serve them, nor bow yourselves unto them”.

    Let me ask you Altcodes – ever take the Lord’s name in vain?

  21. If I were of Pastor Newton’s denomination I would love to be in his church because he thinks in the same way as I do. Get that Furtz? My mentality is not of this world at all and what I see around me are failed mariages, children in single parent homes who are mixed up and I can go on and on about so many things. I wish that I was not in this day and age. I like and respect Pastor Newton and he is a treasure. I live in a patriarchal household and it isn’t easy at times but the man is the boss. I do have my ways and my say but the final decision falls on my husband. We sure do have a lot of laughs in my household as well and we share in the decisions but like I said the final one rests on my husband and he is a very good person.

  22. Undo attention is given in this LTE to a singer songwriter’s artistic interpretation of something he obviously finds abhorrent – violence against women and girls, as well as racial epithets.

    Who among you has noted the the comment: “I see Yoko Ono did a good job teaching John her feminism,” is an obscenity to her person akin to the N-word. For a dark and poisonous message lurks under those words: Do not be seduced by woman’s trickery. She is the serpent. She is the reason humankind was cast from Eden.

    Equally, who has shown grief, compassion or a life-affirming comfort (as Jesus most certainly would have) to the women forced to commit infanticide because of a social machinery that says “girls are worthless”?

    Wasn’t it Jesus who said: Let he who has not sinned…in the example of a woman about to be stoned to death?

    And worse (for women in Asia), the implied – it’s their fault because they’re not born again Christians.

    If you declare yourself born again (forgive me, I do not know what you call yourselves), then consider Jesus’s agony in the Garden of Gesthemane where the sins of man lay before him.

    I believe this letter to the editor was conceived in a flash of anger. I have already forgiven that.

    But maybe the author, even if he doesn’t realize it, was looking for a fight (because I’m a woman?) instead of making a positive, genuine statements about his faith and how he reconciles the dehumanization of women.

    Do you actually believe I queue up behind JL? I queue up behind no person. Do you think I lack respect your loving familial relationships – be they patriarchal or otherwise?

  23. And stop bullying Furtz: “Get that Furtz?” is very confrontational. Like a bully in a schoolyard: Get that dumb-ass, fat kid, stupid, fag, N-word?…the list goes on. It disgusts me.

  24. @ Mary Anne Pankhurst. Don’t worry about me. Jules and I pick at each other fairly regularly. I can take it. 🙂
    @ Jules. I suppose obeying and deferring to your man makes your life simple. Thinking and making decisions for one’s self can sometimes be challenging, for sure.

  25. “Wasn’t it Jesus who said: Let he who has not sinned…in the example of a woman about to be stoned to death?”
    But He also said – “Go and sin no more”. Must not leave that important point out. So the Lord Jesus acknowledged she had indeed sinned – committed adultery! But instead of getting what the Law justly demanded, the Lord Jesus forgave her of her sin. He later would carry that sin to Calvary’s Cross, where He would atone for not only her sin, but all of those given to the Son by the Father to redeem. Grace, how sweet the sound! “Without the shedding of blood there is no remission” (Heb. 9:22).

  26. So, Mr. Newton, Jules thinks you are really cool, and she hates gays just like you and your god do, and she obeys her husband as you say she should. Will Jules be swept up into heaven to blissfully spend eternity in the arms of Jesus? Or will she be tossed into that fiery lake of hell because she is an idol-worshiping (as you describe them) Catholic?

  27. Furtz it is quoted in the King James Bible not to make any graven images of Jesus, Mary, etc. and it is true but the Catholics have always made graven images. We don’t know if anyone is in heaven just now and that will come on judgement day. As for heaven I heard from some ministers of the United Church of God that heaven will be on earth. I think that God is going to make a new heaven and a new earth. There are so many different beliefs that it would make your head spin. The Pastor doesn’t know what God is going to do with me and if he did he would be God himself. Yes I do not approve of gays or anything of that sort. I do not hate them but I do not believe in gay marriage at all. I worked with a few gays and I had a lot of laughter including our supervisors for all we all had to endure with one in particular. We also have one in our building and is nice to talk to.

  28. Jules. Still waiting for the preacher to answer. He usually doesn’t hesitate to declare who will get into heaven and who will burn in hell. Stay tuned. I’m sure he will make his pronouncement soon.

  29. Point form to save time and avoid preaching a sermon: take from it what you will.
    1. A grade 8 student can memorize a university physics text book, word for word, cover to cover, and quote passages from it at will, without ever being a true physicist, or understanding a single word of what they read or quote. To become a physicist, and understand the science, you have to attend the appropriate university, and spend on average, 20-25 years or more in school, like any other doctor.
    2. Catholics do not make, or worship craven images. Statements like that are based on ignorance. Before open ones mouth, find out the facts, and the definition of the word, and pray for enlightenment.
    3. The word nigger is a valid part of the English language, the problem is how one uses it, and how it was used in the past.
    4. It’s alright to complain and make fun of flying the gay pride flag to show opposition to the persecution of gays in Russia, but where were these self-righteous idiots when videos appeared of the actual persecutions of these gays on TV. Where is the voice of these trash preachers when Canadian and American “pastors” are exposed promoting the death penalty for gay acts in Africa, hand in hand with Muslim extremists?
    5. According to some experts, the King James translation or version of the bible is 400 years old, and they also claim it’s accurate and up to date. There have been lots of discovers related to the bible, original texts, history and Christianity that were not available 400 yrs. ago. How is that version brought up to date?

  30. My husband and I have been having some debates around here in my household and what he said is back home in his country of Lebanon women have no rights at all. If there is a separation between a couple the man gets the kids unless he agrees to let the woman have them. He told me this morning that there are things going through law very slowly where women want equal rights as men. Women in those countries are more than fed up of beatings and dirty words hurled at them.

  31. Sorry admin – a little bit of topic, but you know how it is sometimes. It’s Friday, Lent season, Spring in the air, and all that.

    “Catholics do not make, or worship craven images”. That’s right? Only heathen worship craven images – not so. The word “image” – can be translated icon. So in the name of God, and according to R.C. dogma – Roman Catholics can pray to Saints (icons). Their prayer to saints, to Mary is not idol worship, but adoration and the giving of homage. You see these icons take the R.C.’s prayer, and intercede, mediate for them, thus Catholics pray to the dead, not for the living. So what is happening is that the departed Saints are praying for these Roman Catholic devotees. The departed Saints have grace to spare, and so as the R.C. prays, grace is channeled via the R.C. church. Such icons are a whole host of mediators, but the Word of God clearly declares: 1Ti 2:5 “For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” – Roger did I come close?

    As a protestant, Baptist by doctrine, the first article of faith is (Roger do you know it?) Sola Scripture – Scriptures are the only, and final authority in ALL matters of doctrine and practice. So where does the Roman Catholic get their authority to exalt Mary as a co-mediator with Christ? To command the R.C.’s to pray to their icons? Surely not from the Holy Bible, therefore such idolatrous practices are no approved by God as a proper way to pray, or to worship Him.

    Back to Roger’s statement -“Catholics do not make, or worship craven images”. But in fact Catholics do worship, venerate, adore idols. All such idolatry is strictly forbidden and condemned in the Scriptures. Marilogy is one of the worse forms of idolatry. Look at any listing of the Ten Commandments in their catechism, and see what commandment they leave out? They divide the 10th up so they can appear to have 10 commandments.

    Let me give you two Biblical examples to sum it up – #1: Act 10:25-26 “And as Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him, and fell down at his feet, and worshipped him. But Peter took him up, saying, Stand up; I myself also am a man”. #2: Rev 19:10 “And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not: I am thy fellowservant, and of thy brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy”. The Scriptures speak for themselves!

  32. There is something in the Bible (KJV) that Jesus said “nobody comes to the Father except through me” and Catholics pray to the Virgin Mary and to saints as well. I would accept Mary before the saints any day but I always pray to Jesus Himself.

    There is something else where Jesus said “call no man father”.

    As Catholics we are not taught the Bible or anything except for certain parts which is more like what you would call “cathechism” and is not the Bible. I have the two books here of KJV and the Catholic one which is really cathechism and everything from the KJV is not in the Catholic one at all. Catholics are left in the dark about everything. Catholics are unaware of what the hyarchy of the church is really all about and about the reality of Vatican II. If the Catholics and Protestants did their own research they would be shocked as I was.

  33. “But in fact Catholics do worship, venerate, adore idols. All such idolatry is strictly forbidden and condemned in the Scriptures.” There ya go Jules. He won’t come right out and say it (this time), but you better get a full-body fire-proof swimming suit. And make sure it comes with an eternal warranty.

  34. Furtz you just made me laugh. I have tons of dishes to do and I will be at the kitchen sink laughing away. About Pastor Newton he is a good man Furtz and I guess that he just doesn’t want to hurt other people’s feelings and he is a gentleman. The Pastor’s doctrine is Baptist and all religions are different in laws and what they believe and what they preach. The Pastor and I are right about Catholics making statues or pictures of saints, or of the Virgin Mary or Jesus and nobody knows what they look like.

    When the Virgin Mary appeared to the young children at Fatima back in 1917 they didn’t see her face but she came as a light and she made the miracle of the sun spin and dance. She gave them secrets and these secrets are mighty frightening and some have to do with the Catholic church.

  35. Furtz -“but you better get a full-body fire-proof swimming suit. And make sure it comes with an eternal warranty”. Typical of our fallen mentality – we can to something to save ourselves. It doesn’t work that way – after death there is only certain eternal damnation account of the sinner’s unpaid, un-atoned sins. It is like the Roman Catholics paying all that money for masses to get their poor lost love ones out of hell, it is to late!

    You see Furtz, all my sins- past, present, and future have been laid upon God’s Substitute. Also God gives each one that is forgiven a new start, and a new heart. A heart that wants to be like the Lord Jesus Christ, so there is no one that is not going to be made holy in the end. Now the question is why would God do that for me, and for million, millions of others. Because they deserve it; because they earned it; because they were good enough, religious, or they belonged to this church or that mosque, or this temple?

    The answer – Eph 2:8-10 “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them”.

  36. Yes Mr. Newton. Every spring, I pass all my sins over to my god, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, and together, we stir them into a giant cast iron pot full of meat sauce that cooks over an open wood fire out behind our house. All our neighbors come over, and take their clothes off and dance naked around the fire all night until the sun comes up. When it gets light enough, everybody has a good feed of His Noodliness, and then heads home sin-free for another year. All are welcome to attend. Only two restrictions… No hard drugs (crack, heroin, etc) and no bibles permitted. Planning for the second Saturday of April, weather permitting.

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  38. @Furtz

    “On top of spaghetti all covered in cheese;
    I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.”

    Rev Biff Toughlove

  39. @Jules, for a Catholic, you know very little about your faith. If you ever attend mass, check and see what the priest is reading from at the pulpit. It certainly isn’t a catechism, and you obviously don’t have one at home. As for Mr. Newton, your knowledge of the Catholic faith is very twisted, as is your knowledge of Christian history. Do you have any idea at all what the original biblical texts look like? You don’t have a clue.

  40. I can’t stand it anymore…Pastor Tom you believe wrong…it was in fact Yoko Ono who said women were the niggers of the world…John Lennon was a long time coming to terms with Yoko’s meaning…which if people here understood the context they would be able to intelligently comment on your LTE.

  41. David, you’re back! Please consider attending our Pastafarian sin-cleansing bash next month.
    You are correct re the Yoko Ono quote. Hard to believe she’s eighty-one years old.

  42. Roger writes -“Do you have any idea at all what the original biblical texts look like? You don’t have a clue”. I figured it out all by myself – Hieroglyphics.

  43. @ Mr. Newton. Have you tried reading noodles in a colander? You’ll be amazed if you do.
    The trick is to start with ten or fewer well cooked Primo spaghetti noodles in a stainless steel colander. Once you get the hang of it, and learn a bit of “The Truth”, try it again with more noodles, and learn even more.

  44. It doesn’t surprise me that Yoko Ono would be 81 years old because I am 63 years old and the Beatles are in their 70’s and John Lennon was a lot younger than Yoko Ono.

    Furtz are you having Pastor Newton to read spaghetti noodles like what someone would read tea leaves? Now I have heard plenty from you that is hilarious but I have to add this one too besides dancing around a pot of spaghetti sauce naked to get rid of your sins. LOL LOL. ROLF!

  45. @ Mr. Newton. Did you note the eleventh step to becoming a Pastafarian?
    It states “Do not persecute anyone who does not believe in the FSM.” (Flying Spaghetti Monster)
    That is a basic and decent rule that your religion sadly lacks.

  46. @Furtz

    I have been a practicing Pastafarian for over 30 fulfilling years.

    As a callow youth I experimented with different starchy noodle dishes, consuming as much as 4 boxes of Kraft Dinner in a single sitting, searching for spiritual fulfillment.

    I eventually found my way into a cult of fundimentalist “Il Dente” Pastafarians – hardcore man. If it doesn’t stick to the ceiling – we don’t eat it! I’ve lost 50% of my normal bodyweight but I feel so ….. Pastific!

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