SURGEON
So Mr. Johnson why do you want to have a penile implant?
ROBBY JOHNSON
That’s a good question doc. I just want more confidence, especially in court.
SURGEON
You’re a lawyer?
ROBBY JOHNSON
Yes. I’ve researched it and yourself, and I think you’re the man to do the job.
SURGEON
Do you have problems attaining an erection? This type of surgery can be costly. I charge $20,000 for the process.
ROBBY JOHNSON
I have a new client that’s going to have to cough up a very large retainer. She’s a city councilor that has been having a feud with some editor of a newspaper.
SURGEON
That never ends well.
Britney Berk was frustrated. She wasn’t used to not getting her way, and this public feud was not going well. She leaned down and snorted a long thick line of cocaine. Her nose was already running when she snapped her head back.
BRITNEY BERK
I always knew I’d be a success. First a successful Real Estate business, and now running for Council. And then it happened. I never expected it to happen, yet it did. You don’t feel anything when you’re in the blender and after I was tapped on the shoulder everything changed.
It was snowing out, all Christmas like. A wonderful night and in a dark corner of the restaurant that had become a second home to Britney, after passing off a bag of coke to Ryan the waiter, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun fast to see a smiling face.
She was startled, but was even more startled when the smiling face flashed a badge.
SGT JOE ANTHONY
You do realize that distribution of narcotics is in fact a criminal offence Councilor Berk?
Silence and that deer in the headlights look on her face was all the response Sgt Anthony got back.
SGT JOE ANTHONY
You have the right to remain silent unless of course you have some information for me.
BRITNEY BERK
What do you mean?
SGT JOE ANTHONY
See, you do speak. What I mean is I can charge you or you can give me a reason not to.
Her brain was racing. Things like this never happened to people like her. This was Cornwall. Didn’t this cop know who she was?
SGT JOE ANTHONY
You do realize you can’t be on council if you’re in jail, right?
It happened that quickly. Britney delivered the goods too with three major busts in less than a month. Ryan fled Cornwall to Toronto, and the Sergeant protected her from the bad guys even leaning on that newspaper editor.
She even tried to frame him for a charge after talking about it with Madame Mayor. There was no evidence, but that hadn’t stopped them ever before, and in the end the racked up legal defense was punishment enough.
Britney soon started to feel better and was even allowed to keep distributing to help collar more busts for the police.
Of course there were some real questions to this mess? Was the Police Chief and Police board aware? Was the mayor and council? After all, the police are a department of the City, essentially city workers in a sense. When they made a mess it was local tax payers that paid for it. If Britney was convicted she couldn’t be a councilor any longer. Likewise was she not open the laws of seizure from the proceeds to crime? None of this mattered to Sgt Anthony who racked up bust after bust padding his record.
End of part one. If you want more click share on social media and post your comments below.
DTUCB is FICTION. It’s inspired by characters and stories from the heart of Cornwall Ontario. To see other excerpts click HERE.
“A good newspaper, I suppose, is a nation talking to itself.”
– Arthur Miller –
The “dark desires and hidden agendas” of our dirty town mixed in the CFN crucible, will one day wake people into calling out corrupt police, their political patrons, and that so sick culture.
“Don’t be seduced into thinking that that which does not make a profit is without value.”
– Arthur Miller –
Keep it up CFN!
Lassie if CFN doesn’t generate enough revenue I won’t be able to keep it open. We have been very close to red lining out this past year sadly because of a conspiratorial boycott and not being able to get legal assistance to help remedy that where possible or outside law enforcement to assist.
That says a lot about our community, and society in general in Ontario and Canada.
A new version for reality TV?
Jamie you have the only paper that is worth looking at and make me laugh so much that you would have to get me placed to the Royal Ottawa Hospital. LOL LOL. ROLF! You have no idea that your paper is the best and that is the truth. The clique has to be run out of Cornhole on the nearest rail and forget about them packing they have to leave in a jippy.
Honest to God Jamie I am telling you the truth. Years ago when we lived in Cornhole we were told that making a business in Cornhole is mighty hard because of the clique and also you cannot get legal representation down there. Believe me Jamie many people wanted to make a business in Cornhole and backed away because of these things. I can never live down there ever again.
Jules would you come back if I was elected mayor in the next election? 🙂
Jamie I have the upmost respect for you and that is the truth. There are no jobs in Corhole for my daughter and bad enough the way things are here in Ottawa = dead. Many people are leaving where my daughter works just now and she spent money on her course and no jobs. Really really bad. I would be honored otherwise to go under your very fine leadership. You are the very best.
Jamie there are not many people that I look up to and that is true. You are one of the finest people around and too good for Cornhole. You are too good for Ottawa as well. You have the best newspaper and you would make a good mayor as well. I send you my very best wishes and hope that you become mayor. So far none have achieved as a good mayor except for your relative.
WTF!! A thumbs down for the first comment. Well, that confirms it, “Sgt. Joe Anthony” reads CFN.
And btw “Joe”, no city wants a delusional (second string puckhead) that dreams himself Donny Brasco, or a chief and police board that plays loose with the law and politics, … it’s a dash of Serpico that Cornwall needs.