Jeanne Assam – We Medicate to Preservate OPINION 041118

Yes, I just made up a word.

I know a lot of people who self-medicate and I know why they do it. They do it for self-preservation. I believe most of society does this in various forms. The problem is some forms are more acceptable than others. This isn’t fair, but society’s rules are never fair. Ever.

So how do people self-medicate? Drinking, pills, sex, working out way too often, not working out enough-or at all, eating too much, eating too little, pornography, and on and on. Drinking, of course, is the most acceptable, but you have to hold your liquor well or people will know you’re an alcoholic. Being overweight is becoming increasingly acceptable, but morbid obesity probably never will be. Do you know a lot of people over eat to mask their own pain? Many who are morbidly obese have been molested as children or have thyroid problems, yet I have heard such cruel remarks come from people who immediately cast judgment without a second thought. Here’s a suggestion; don’t.

Question is, why do we self-medicate? We self-medicate because life is incredibly difficult. Life is filled with pain; painful memories, painful incidents, occurrences, betrayals by so-called friends, betrayals by people who claim they “want to help you”, but really all they want is to use you. They suck you dry, then toss you to the side of the road because they got from you what they needed. Now you no longer matter. Life is painful because there’s never enough money. Why do some of us always have to worry when we’ll get another assignment so we can get paid? Why do we always have to live in this kind of fear while people in Hollywood get paid millions to pretend to be poor?  Then just because we see them on TV or in movies, our brilliant society thinks these millionaire pretenders are some sort of gods. Well they’re not. They’re just like us; they self-medicate too. The only difference is they make a shit-load of money and most of us don’t, but we don’t get paid to pretend either. So for all of you pretenders out there who aren’t lucky enough to be an actor, stop wasting your time pretending. You’re not getting paid for it and people can see right through your act anyway. Relax and just be you for free.

People self-medicate to mask their pain the best they can. Can you blame them? I try not to cast judgment on those who do this because I truly believe most people do. Are we all guilty of something or are we all just doing the best we can to handle this thing called life? I may sound like I’m casting judgment on those in Hollywood, but I do resent that they get to pretend to be poor when they’re really not. They get to pretend to be a cop when they, in real life, could never do that job. They get to pretend to be whatever they want and they get paid for it. That is incredibly unfair. Do I sound a bit frustrated? I am and I have the right to be. I am human, I am a broke human and I’m one of those people who is afraid right now of where my next dollar is going to come from. Does anyone else feel me? I know you do. I may get criticized for this, but oh well.  I get unfriended or people unfollow me because how dare I say something they don’t like? How dare I be human?

Lets give people-and ourselves-some much-needed mercy. Why is society so mean, so cruel? So judgmental? What is with people these days? There’s a place in Denver called Cherry Creek. Whenever I walk through there, everyone always looks so incredibly angry. People honk if you don’t drive when the light turns green like you’ve just had the Indy-500 flag wave “Go!” Calm the hell down, people. You’ll get there when you get there.

We live in an angry, mean world. Yes, there are still some nice people out there, but they are difficult to find. I love nice people. I love kind, compassionate people and thankfully, I am connected with many of you. Yes, I am frustrated today for many reasons. I am fighting a battle right now and as always, I’m fighting it alone. So just let me voice my frustrations without casting judgment. I like to write for therapeutic reasons. It helps, so let me help myself in a healthy way. I’m not drinking, not overeating or under eating, not taking pills and not working out too much. I’m just sitting here, writing. I’ll get through this, just as all of you will who are fighting battles of your own. Lets stay strong together. As they say, whoever “they” are, this too shall pass.

About Jeanne

Jeanne Assam is the police officer who shot and killed gunman Matthew Murray who entered new life church on Dec. 9, 2007 after he had shot 4 people in Arvada, killing 2, and wounding 2 others. Later that same day, Murray drove to new life church in Colorado Springs where he and Jeanne engaged in a shootout inside the church after Murray shot 4 more people, killing 2 sisters in the parking lot.

Her background includes several years as a patrol officer with the Minneapolis Police Department, Criminal Investigator for the State of Colorado, and as a Parole Officer for the Colorado Department of Corrections.
In January of 2008, she met with former President George W. Bush at the president’s request. The Colorado Senate and House passed a joint resolution honoring her. She is one of “The Biggest Winners” for 2007 according to Fox News’ The Big Story with Gibson and Naurert; only General Petraeus and French President Nicholas Sarkozy finished ahead of her.

She is also the recipient of the Eleanor Roosevelt Award from the Second Amendment Foundation.

Jeanne wrote her first book of this account with the gunman, titled “God, the Gunman and Me” available through her website and also available for Kindle  on

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