The Darkest Hour Movie Review by Liam Morgan Sinclair-Dempster – (PROFANITY WARNING) Cornwall Ontario

CFN – Well, that looks like a shitty thriller… Invisible things turning people to ash! Sweet! Im going to watch this movie simply to see what the hell are those alien things, then write a review on how shitty it was… Yes… I shall do jut that…

*See the movie*

Hm, That actually wasn’t that bad… I mean, it was no masterpiece… but not a shitty movie…

It starts off… I missed the beginning bit and only actually showed up to see lights falling from the sky in Moscow. One of them lands in front of a large group of people… and a police man proceeds to POKE IT WITH A STICK. Violently the light (Now invisible) lashes out and kills him, turning him to dust. People shit bricks and make a run for it.

Now the movie focused on three guys and two girls during this part. It was a lot of people running and shitting themselves away from these things. Should those words switch places… nah, I think their shitting of bricks propelled them forward.

After twenty minutes of shitting bricks, we settle on these five people. Two american girls, names I did not bother knowing yet. Two american dudes, one is the smart one, and the other is me, in a thriller movie. I freakin’ swear. Oh, and a Swedish business douche. They are, keeping themselves inside a food-cellar-thing for a couple days… which what I think is a fade in and out of each day, of them freaking out.

After what I think was five days… they leave, and I learn a new name! Shaun… the one like me. Anyway, they do a lot of running around looking for the American embassy. They find it killed to shit, after very quickly picking up a few things about the creatures.


They cannot see through glass, and they make electrical things work around them. So they now know how to hide and tell when they are coming. If it wasn’t so BS, it would be a pretty sweet idea. It does help with suspense sometimes, I mean, how often does the lights turning ON, mean the monster will kill you.

ANYWAY, the Swedish dick dies. I think his name was skylar… BUT on the bright side they forget about him quickly… and find another safehouse. This one is housed by a crazy guy in a metal cage, which somehow hides them. The Russian guy is named… something, but the girl who accompanies him is Vike.

Um, the blonde girl f***s everything up and gets the Russian guy and herself killed. The safehouse ruined, they now have another place to go. A nuclear submarine! Which works just like metal cage… somehow… AND… they also have a microwave gun… which can stun one of those things…

Through some other BS they run into a group of people that prove that those things can be hurt. (One guy is one a horse) They offer to keep the characters there as long as they need, but they say they have to go home. They Militia guys are convinced to hep them out, and they use the metro to go quickly to the submarine. The other guy dies… what was his name… Tom? Tom dies… saving Vike… so sweet.

They make it to a boat which they use to float towards the sub safely. They dont quite make it, and a house collapsing destroys the boat and sends them all overboard. However they are saved by the russian submarine. All but um… the other girl… Natalie… I think… Shauns new lover girl.

So they go to save her, build a second microwave gun, and manage to kill one of those things. Hooray! They look silly, satanish. The militia guys kill three more by something the crazy russian told them of way back. Shaun kills one with a shard of ts own shield… biatch. Then they all live happily ever after, trying to save the world. From a sub. Shaun gets the girl, Vike gets a working Ipod. Militia stays behind, everybody wins, except for the dead people.

Overall, not a bad movie. A 5/10. It has some funny moments before the aliens show up (I got around to seeing a BIT of the beginning), and you don’t completely hate the characters. I liked all of them, even the swedish douche, cuz he had a nice emotional moment. Well, not the blonde girl, she just got on my nerves. The monsters have a good sense of suspense… and people don’t constantly make bad decisions.  A lot of how they survived was dumb luck, but it can happen.

Happy Holidays.

Your Reviewer: 

Liam Morgan Sinclair-Dempster, a 17 year old student who enjoys writing, acting, and pizza, and I am a fan of movies!

I am not some big type hot shot reviewer, who believes his opinions are better than anyone else’s.

I just want to give a view to a movie from a young fan viewpoint. I’m just a guy, saying what a guy thinks of a movie. The average Joe’s review you could call it. I just want people to understand that a movie can be enjoyable, and bad, or good, and not.

Leave a Reply