Wednesday February 26th is Wear a Pink Shirt Day – Some thoughts on Bullying by Jamie Gilcig

jg2CORNWALL Ontario – Wednesday February 26th is wear a Pink Shirt Day to celebrate Anti-Bullying.

Bullying in our Politically Correct world is a scary thing.  It’s about conforming and what happens to those that don’t.  It’s what happens when an honest person confronts a group or person that is lying or abusing  whether they be a kid on the bus or a mayor.

What is Anti Bullying?  Is it simply not being a bully?  Is it confronting Bullies?   Does anyone think that a bully will stop simply because you point out they are bullying?   Most bullies have no issues nor care because whether genetically or culturally they are bullies.

How do you ask a child to not bully when they see their parents or grand parents being bullies?  Likewise if kids see no repercussions to bullying what are they to think?     We have always lived in a world where people learn behavior.   Laws for example are only really observed if enforced?   If most people think they are just laws people will speak up.  For example drive the wrong way down a one way street or throw large litter on the ground and usually someone will say something to you.

Pink Shirt Day 2014
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What happens when you see someone getting bullied?   These days we see metric tons of cyber bullying?   Do you stand up?

This weekend I myself was bullied.  A group of malcontents are upset that I’m running for mayor.   I won’t go into details or specifics, but one brave soul didn’t so much as take a side, but simply try and reflect what the mob mentality was doing.    This person is a strong defender against bullying.  He was bullied.  He was bullied to the point that a threat was made to his employment and he pulled down his comments.    Did the bullies win?  Yes as he was silenced; but in the end of the day their behavior was not changed except for one that actually sent a private apology.

My grand-father was a pro boxer.   He taught me that when confronted by a gang of bullies to swing for the leader.  He even told me that I may get beaten up but that bullies generally look for weaker foe.   That’s human nature except that if you’re the weaker foe that can mean a life of being a victim.

One of the remarkable things I’ve seen here in Cornwall is that when I have stood up to bullies.  When I have metaphorically smacked them back, they are the biggest ones to cry like baby kittens and cry foul.  I actually get called a bully.

A case in point is one Nicholas MacNaughton who now works for the CIBC as a Mortgage broker.    Mr. MacNaughton decided to take a shot at me when we had our April Fools joke a few years ago and was talking smack.    Like a comedian handling a heckler I asked why he was attacking me as I didn’t make fun of him for dating a tranny.

His girlfriend got it and made a witty reply.   He didn’t.    The bully was slapped down as most bullies should be.   Was my comment tart, stinging, and possibly painful to his insecurity of his own manhood?  Yup.   Did it slur his charming and delightful girlfriend?  Probably not as women have much better senses of humour than men usually.

Mr. MacNaughton then made himself even sillier.    I started to get emails from people sharing that he was telling people that he was going to “beat me up”, again, more intimidation and bullying.   He allegedly went to many of our clients leaning on them to dump CFN as their choice of advertising.   He allegedly bullied them; after all bullying doesn’t have to involve baseball bats.  It can be subtle even.

A few months later he actually called me asking for help.  Not knowing his antics I obliged him.  He was a city bus driver and the Freeholder had run a story about another bus driver having an accident using a stock photo of Nick in front of a bus. I took a few steps and the photo was taken down.  He even thanked me.

Did he stop his antics though?  I’m not sure as recently I discovered  he allegedly leaned on some of our clients suggesting that they’d have more business if they dumped us.

When I was politically smeared recently in other media, Mr. MacNaughton, not having learned from his past bullying actually posted the transcript from our old Facebook whirl while taking another run at me.

Boggling.   This is the culture of bullying.   Most people of course don’t stand up to bullies.  They cough up their lunch money or take the abuse.

Another case of local bullying was Ian Wilson of Stormont Stationers here in Cornwall.   He shared with me that he was going to stop his activism to save the Cornwall General Hospital and in general because it was impacting his sales gig and that CCH and other City Hall connected agencies were cutting him off.   Could he directly prove it?   No, these things are never done on company stationary.   They are subtle at that level.  But it silenced him and of course impacted the fight to keep CGH open and alive.

Wearing a Pink Shirt once a year really isn’t a solution.    Maybe, just maybe it creates some awareness, but the bullies big and small are usually the first to wear the shirts and laugh at the rest of us.    The irony is that bullying is so ingrained in some of the people of this culture that they don’t even realize it and get angry when you point it out to them; angry to the point of bullying you.  It’s divisive and keeps a community down unless they buckle under the bullies.

{DELETED BY FORCE OF UCDSB LEGAL ACTION}

In the end I may succumb to bullying.   I may choose like the brave young man that waded into the chat this weekend to simply move down the road.    I don’t think that would happen; but if even one person develops some bravery by wearing a Pink Shirt today that’s awesome.

We need to learn how to deal with bullies in our world.    In my opinion the best way is to out them and expose them like a vampire to sunlight.

I know that part of the trials and tribulations I endure is because of systemic bullying from the Mayor and his friends.   I live with the day to day results of seeing some of our clients bullied; usually the ones dependent on some business  or patio permits from City Hall.

But if we all work together and stand up to bullies one by one we will make our world a better place.

Do you have any bullying stories of your own?   You can post your stories and comments below.

(Comments and opinions of Editorials, Letters to the Editor, and comments from readers are purely their own and don’t necessarily reflect those of the owners of this site, their staff, or sponsors.)

 

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33 Responses to "Wednesday February 26th is Wear a Pink Shirt Day – Some thoughts on Bullying by Jamie Gilcig"

  1. john rothwell   February 25, 2014 at 8:13 AM

    can anyone out in cyberland give me a politically correct definition of bullying? the word is being transcribed into a miriad of different definitions in my mind. bullying used to be defined as a bigger kid kicking a little kid around and with his band of followers continued to do so at his leisure and enjoyment,,,. knocking the smaller childs books out of their hands in the hallway because they knew they could get away with it without chastisement.
    now people complain of being bullied by big business or politicians.

    bullying is just a word, being misconstrued by the masses to encircle too many variables, maybe theres a chemical the pharmaceutical companies can come up with to reduce the bullying factor in “busy children” like they have done for children who now are diagnosed with ADHD, (no comparison between the two is implied)

    to any extent, as i have been taught by very astute people, it is my understanding, my opinion on the subject will most likely be misinterpreted. i do not condone the actions of bullies, but as my peers have said its the same for those who give and take.

    we the givers are just as much at fault as the takers, for if it not for the givers there would not be any takers.

    the same follows through for life in general and as a whole, (newtons law of inertia)

  2. admin   February 25, 2014 at 8:15 AM

    great quote John!

  3. Eric   February 25, 2014 at 10:06 AM

    The Red Cross list several types of bullying, physical, verbal, social and cyber. Discrimination and harassment being different. Not keeping score in a kids soccer game or not handing out medals of appreciation to all, is somehow supposed to stop an imbalance of power associated with a bully. Don’t think that is helping society, but telling kids and adults to not put up with it might give them some control over their own life.

    http://www.redcross.ca/what-we-do/violence-bullying-and-abuse-prevention/educators/bullying-and-harassment-prevention/definitions-of-bullying-and-harassment

  4. Furtz   February 25, 2014 at 10:37 AM

    How can we impress upon children that bullying is unacceptable when the people we elect to govern us routinely resort to heckling, personal attacks and bullying in the House of Commons? It’s reached the point where schools have stopped class trips to observe our Parliament because they don’t want students exposed to the boorish behavior.
    And, of course, there are the more extreme registered charities that promote hate and bigotry from their tax-exempt pulpits. But that’s another can of worms.
    In other words, how do we convince kids to not engage in bullying when for many of our political and religious “leaders”, it’s a way of life?

  5. fern   February 25, 2014 at 11:10 AM

    a product of our environment so sad in my day it was the big boy beatng on the small kid now it takes a whole different meaning

  6. Lee T   February 25, 2014 at 4:38 PM

    {MODERATED} Lee if you do not with to post with your name then you must register by emailing your name, address, phone number and user ID you wish to use to info@cornwallfreenews.com

  7. Pat   February 25, 2014 at 5:30 PM

    {MODERATED} Pat, same ISP as Lee, if you do not with to post with your name then you must register by emailing your name, address, phone number and user ID you wish to use to info@cornwallfreenews.com

  8. Lee   February 25, 2014 at 5:38 PM

    I posted earlier,via wifi from work and I posted this afternoon via a friend’s wifi. He sent the same email as we assumed it would be an isp problem and his did not go through. I am unsure of your request. Do you want a name because 2 have been provided or do you need a full name (first and last)….I see above that first names suffice so that is what we have went with. I will attempt to post from another area and see what becomes of this and I have sent my information through to your “info” email. So everything on my end has been done so what gives?

  9. Melman   February 25, 2014 at 8:16 PM

    I wish people would stop pretending they can find you at home by using your IP address
    Knowing your IP address does NOT give anyone the power to hack into your computer, NOR does it reveal who you are. Typically, each time you go online (if you have dialup) or each time you start your computer (if you have cable, fiber or dsl) you will be assigned an IP address, randomly selected from a pool of IP’s assigned to your Internet service provider (ISP).

    A person MIGHT be able to get a general idea of your geographic location, based on your IP address, by doing a lookup using a free IPSearch program but often the free ones are malware that can screw up your computer, but that will only tell them the physical location of your ISP — not YOUR home address

    Bottom line: The address returned by an IP lookup *could* be within a few miles of your home, or it could be wrong by several orders of magnitude
    BUT IF POLICE WANT TO FIND YOU FOR A COURT CASE..all bets are off

    Keep that in mind JULES if you ever decide to provide proof of your Mayor Kilroy &St Hubert story

  10. Diane   February 25, 2014 at 8:24 PM

    Hi Jamie,

    My story is well known on your site and your readership has been very supportive. Bullying is harassment and in my case it took place in the workplace. When I returned to work in 2010 after being harassed in 2008 I was assigned to develop the City’s Workplace Harassment and Violence Program (Bill 168). It became a very surreal experience considering I was being harassed by several high ranking individuals during this period. I continue to address this issue and will continue to do so until I have run out of avenues to follow. Ultimately my issue is involves the ability to protect a very vulnerable population and as long as caregivers/employees are not protected when reporting abuse of this group than no one is protected.

    Take care,

    Diane Shay

  11. 420   February 25, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    I used to like bullies. They bullied, I beat them. I see you have a fan club of eastenders on a boycott site. No worries there.

  12. 420   February 25, 2014 at 9:05 PM

    Why so hard on Stormont Stationers just cause the sales guy is an alleged dick. Owner is a good guy.

  13. Hugger1   February 25, 2014 at 10:42 PM

    Where is this fan club of eastenders on a boycott site?

  14. Pastor Tom Newton   February 26, 2014 at 7:05 AM

    Furtz write “how do we convince kids to not engage in bullying when for many of our political and religious “leaders”, it’s a way of life?”. You go first, lead by example!

  15. Furtz   February 26, 2014 at 8:00 AM

    @ Newton. That’s almost funny in a twisted sort of way.

  16. Michael Clifton   February 26, 2014 at 8:06 AM

    @Diane

    We need to hear your message Ms. Shay. We need to continue to hear it and be thankful for your courage and willingness to be the messenger ( a very qualified one at that). Always grateful for your comments.

  17. Im just me.   February 26, 2014 at 9:14 AM

    I miss when bullying actually meant something… Anymore if someone calls you out on something its called bullying. This is bullying, that is bullying. Originally bullying was the bigger person picking on the smaller for enjoyment. And that’s seen in any damn species. Now anything is bullying and so much emphasis is put on it it just makes bullying more prevelant. All this stop bullying BS makes more bullying than anything.

  18. Pastor Tom Newton   February 26, 2014 at 10:54 AM

    I am just me writes “And that’s seen in any damn species”. So why is bullying wrong then? We are just living out our animalistic tendencies – natural section, survival of the fittest! Is bullying all part of that? Surely animals only live on instincts not moral reasoning, or the group survival mentality? According to Darwin – bullying should something praised in our “damn species”.

  19. Mary Anne Pankhurst   February 26, 2014 at 12:59 PM

    Darwin never coined the phrase “survival of the fittest.” Fitness, when used scientifically, refers to the ability to adapt to new or changing environments (natural selection). Sometimes these survival advantages are just small DNA mutations that occur over evolutionary time – such as the evolution of paler skin as humans moved out of Africa into colder climes with reduced sunlight.

    I don’t believe animals bully, though they do compete for resources and often have pecking orders to help ensure that genes best suited for the survival of the species are passed on to offspring.

    Bullying seems to be any form of social violence that often involves mob mentality, scapegoatism, even “fun.” It’s not too long ago that black men in America were lynched. Whole towns – men, women and kids – turned out and posed for pictures with the victims. And media reported lynchings regularly.

    Example, under the headline “ANOTHER NEGRO BURNED,” The NY Times described the grisly details of the lynching of Henry Smith in Paris, Texas. Readers learned that Smith was placed on a 10 feet-high scaffold and was tortured for 50 minutes by red-hot irons thrust against his body, after which he was set on fire and transformed from a human being to charred human remains.

    Bullying, without the outright physical elements, still tortures and sometimes kills its victims. And that horrible boycott CFN FB page is a living example. They’re no better than a lynch mob.

  20. Pastor Tom Newton   February 26, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    Mary Anne Pankhurst – “Bullying, without the outright physical elements, still tortures and sometimes kills its victims” Are the unborn victims of bullying? Is abortion part of that human pecking order? Is the act of euthanasia of child an act of bullying too? Such abortionist, and child murders are as you say -“They’re no better than a lynch mob”, specially when society takes pleasure in the butchering of the unborn, and the natural section of the children that are chosen to die, all for the good and progress of humanity.

    Wasn’t Nazism working on natural section back in their day? Were they not great followers of Darwin? “German Nazism subscribed to theories of racial hierarchy and social Darwinism, asserted the superiority of an Aryan master race, and criticised both capitalism and communism for being associated with Jewish materialism”. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Wasn’t the founder of Plan parenthood a lover of Darwin? Her goal in life was to eliminate the blacks and the poor. Not much has changed in our day. Scientific Racism The Eugenics of Social Darwinism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FmEjDaWqA4

    What hypocrisy for anyone to concern themselves today with bullying when the blood of so many innocents cry out to God for vengeance. Vengeance is coming!

    Psa 9:17 “The wicked shall be turned into hell, all the nations that forget God”.

  21. Mary Anne Pankhurst   February 26, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    @Pastor Tom

    Actually, when the unborn are killed it usually does involve physical elements. Vacuum suctioning of the uterus, for instance. Or in ancient times, toxic substances that induced poisoning and/or uterine contractions.

    Nazism did not employ natural selection. It employed artificial selection, more like hen or horse breeding for desirable phenotypes (physical traits).

    Many people who found Darwin’s work compelling, did so, before DNA was even discovered in the 1950s.

    The abomination of eugenics was pervasive in North America. Where do you think the Nazis learned about it? You might like to research the book: Our Own Master Race – Eugenics in Canada.

    I honestly don’t know anything about the founder of Planned Parenthood but will take a look at the link even if it perverts Darwin’s great observations about the natural beauty of life.

  22. Hugger1   February 26, 2014 at 5:00 PM

    I’m probably going to hear about this one, but…..

    While the concept of getting rid of bullying is nice. Bullying will NEVER disappear.

    What I find troubling is that a lot of people are calling others bullies for simple things. Simply disliking something gets me called a ‘hater’ and a ‘bully.’ Just because I don’t like something does NOT make me a hater or bully. The use of the word bully has been interpreted in to many wrong ways.

  23. admin   February 26, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    I think this is an easy definition. A bully to me is someone who forces their will in a brutal manner either via coercion or brutality with the support of a mob. You rarely see a lone bully. For example our mayor could not get away with what he has to date without the support of council. Likewise our former CAO could not have gotten away and be pensioned off without the support of council and city management.

    Right now we have an angry mob of people who feel that they should continue to bully some of our sponsors into cancelling their ads with CFN.

    In all cases the bullying would be defeated if people told the truth and stood up for themselves and others.

    Because those people refuse to for whatever reasons they may have; the bullies either win or cause so much damage that everyone suffers.

  24. Mary Anne Pankhurst   February 26, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    @Pastor Tom

    Is abortion part of that human pecking order? (you asked)

    Yes. I believe John Lennon said women are the niggers of the world.

    Females are dirt, pretty much from womb to tomb. They’re aborted, murdered, violated and enslaved every few minutes.

  25. Furtz   February 26, 2014 at 5:55 PM

    And of course we have the Grand-daddy and longest living bully ever to exist, that Mr. Newton keeps referring to. This rather sadistic and extremely jealous bully has, and continues to throw billions of non-believers and those who have only been born once into a fiery lake to burn for eternity! They don’t get any nastier than that. Makes people like Kilger look like Mother Teresa.
    Thankfully, this mother-of-all bullies only exists in the imaginations of relatively few “confused” individuals.

  26. admin   February 26, 2014 at 6:15 PM

    Hi everyone. Looks a bit like we’re straying off topic. Please keep your comments relevant and non personal.

    Thanks

  27. Diane   February 26, 2014 at 8:25 PM

    I spent 2011 training City employees on the City’s Harassment (Bullying) Program and how to deal with it. Unfortunately programs are only living documents when they are enforced. The City of Cornwall’s leadership has never enforced this program which they approved in June 2010. The City Representatives actually participated and encouraged the harassing behavior which occurred in 2010 which in turn intimidates everyone causing a poisoned work environment.

    Studies show that employers control Whistleblowers by the use of harassment both directly and indirectly which results in fear and anxiety for everyone (poison work environment). Since coworkers can not lash out at their employer they subconsciously lash out at the victim believing they have caused this atmosphere.

    These attacks have been very successful in the past especially when the employer moves it tactics to trying to discredit the victim. I will admit that I have come very close to caving many times over the years, but to quit would be paramount to being complicit with this group of bullies currently sitting on Council.

    I have filed lawsuit against the City for constructive dismissal or in the alternative breach of contract based on the Judith Allen Report. Justice is based on the facts of a case and part of my case (events of 2008) have been upheld once in a Provincial court yet City Council decided to vote unanimously in favour of the Judith Allen Report. I was very disappointed considering Council well aware of facts and chose this route anyway. Many believe that the vote was based on legal advise. Maybe Council needs to start using common sense and stop hiding behind expensive legal advise at the taxpayer expense. It was that unanimous vote that opened the door for me to continue this struggle.

    l whistle blowers are harassed and the same blue print has been used successfully to destroy them on all levels. I am no different, I have lost my health, career and retirement over the last six years and regardless of the outcome I will know that I did do everything I could to right this grievous wrong which impacts everyone.

    Diane Shay

  28. admin   February 26, 2014 at 8:32 PM

    Hang in there Diane, but between you and I sometimes I wonder which is worse; a group, ie our council that would do the things they have or the people that give them a free pass and the impact it has on our city….

  29. Jessica   February 27, 2014 at 12:00 PM

    I’m sorry but isn’t calling Mr. Mcnaughton’s girlfriend a tranny bullying?

  30. admin   February 27, 2014 at 12:01 PM

    No Jessica, it was handling a heckler. If Nick doesn’t attack me there’s no comment. And if it was so painful and hurtful why did he bring it all back last week and post it after I was politically smeared. Walk in the Sunshine Jessica and let’s stick to the facts and the truth.

  31. Diane   February 27, 2014 at 10:13 PM

    Im just me

    Bullying or abuse should never be acceptable at any age for any reason.

    How you know you are being bullied (abused)? For me it was going to work and being humiliated, embarrassed and questioned about every aspect of my position, a job I had done without complaint for 18 yrs. Everyone around you is in fear of becoming a target so they keep their distance. Most days I left in tears and I couldn’t sleep, eat or concentrate. I never knew who or where the next attack was going to come from or if I would be able to deal with it. I continued working under these circumstances for 18 months until late 2011, when the months leading up to the Ministries trial the harassment became so bad I had to go off work on stress leave and that is where I am today.

    Jamie,

    Yes, I do believe that doing nothing is an action which communicates complicity and one of the many reasons I became involved with this issue and will continue to as long as I am able to.

    Take Care,

    Diane Shay

  32. admin   February 28, 2014 at 5:31 AM

    Diane you’re a witness to the abuse at City Hall that also led to the forced retirement of Deputy Fire Chief Rob Hickley over allegations that the Mayor or former CAO polished Mayor Kilger’s son joining the fire department. Imagine if more people stepped up and publicly supported you from City Hall.

    Living in fear and allowing people to be isolated when standing up for the truth is not cool. I just lost a client and friend over this exact same thing as she was more afraid of losing clients than the horrible actions that she is covering up for.

  33. Diane   March 3, 2014 at 9:47 PM

    Jamie,

    Yes, my friends and family have been put in difficult situations because of their affiliations with me. It all comes down to preservation and I really can’t blame people for running in fear. As I mentioned before employers follow a blue print directed to destroy Whistleblowers with part of that process being to intimidate the people around you.

    Take care,

    Diane

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