Recently a list of 25 Things Cornwall, ON People Know Too Well – The bitter truth of it all went locally viral.
2. The ski hill is made from industrial waste.
Cornwall has a ski hill in the middle of town, right behind Lowe’s (formerly Walmart) which in and of itself is strange af. What makes it even worse/more hysterical is that it is made of garbage, pulp from Domtar and other industrial waste.
Cornwall Memes had also gone hugely viral before local police allegedly visited its creator which led to it being shut down. It was replaced by the less vitriolic Cornwall Memes 2.
5. The Bar Scene blows.
Literally. Blow jobs in the bathrooms? Its happened.
The Glengarrian is like for people 30+ (mostly like 65+ though). Dekes is like 18 and under. Lola’s is usually empty. La Maison is a Sunday and Wednesday karaoke night only kind of place. The Rendezvous is sketchy. Bills is tiny. The Vu is closed now (thank god!). Any others I forgot? Probably a good thing.
8. For your health’s sake, the Cornwall Square really wants you to take the stairs. The escalator’s broken again.
(editor’s note – not sure it was ever actually fixed)
10. Guns and drugs were pedaled through everyone’s favorite shawarma restaurant, which coincidentally is right across from the police station.
And it took them how long for them to bust the place? The shawarma was so good, they needed assault rifles to protect their recipe, which apparently contained cocaine.
The reality of our community certainly is not one of a World of Possibilities, the very limp slug line pushed by Bob “Vienna Sausage” Peters of the Economic Development of friends department. (Allegedly he’s given Alyssa Blais’ offspring a plum Summer gig with Choose Cornwall)
Laughingly there’s a core of the Cornwall Clique membership that praise all in Cornwall. Their mock outrage at Cornwall Memes and this list of 25 things was championed by Dan Allaire at the local Corus Radio outlet, the centre of the Universe of all that truly is wrong with the culture of our community.
Ironically, and probably unintentionally, while pathetic, was for the most part more humorous than the one people are actually clicking on.
1. The amount of care and passion this community has. Helping organize events and always being there to volunteer or donate to many important causes. The generosity of this community knows no bounds.
As I watch the closing of our local public art gallery of 36 years I find this particularly silly and amusing. I mean, with allegations that one Cornwall Service club was skimming from an event to pay for the sponsorship there’s a certain silliness of that statement.
3. A vibrant local restaurant/coffee shop community run by people who live here and invest at home
Other than Timmies I count only one coffee shop, which while pleasant, certainly is not of the standard of a say a ….Starbucks, which certain locals dream for…..As for restaurants, one local media newster posited recently that they couldn’t think of one restaurant locally that they’d want to eat at that didn’t have um….secondary, income.
5. Local artists and performers who add so much whether it be visual, by sound or performance
Most of our local artists are no longer local. Our finest, gets snubbed regularly by Bob Peters and City Hall. Most of our area visual artists work for little to no money and I think have to pay out of their own pockets to function in Cornwall….
7. Great recreation facilities like the Aquatic Centre, Benson Centre and Curling Club
Lol, an Aquatic centre that has health issues every now and again, an arena built on some of the most toxic soil in the city with allegations of numbered bank accounts being a reason why the land sold for the highest ever cash per acre while needed nearly a million dollars of tax money to be cleaned up….
9. Splash pads and outdoor pools to keep cool on those hit summer days
Yes, thanks to Denis Carr and friends, most of our out door pools were closed and a splash pad built in Lamoureux Parc to replace them. This is something to get excited about?
12. Awesome festivals. Beerfest, Musicfest, Ribfest to name a few…
Corus radio’s predatory promotional practices played a big role in the demise of events like Lift Off. With Winterfest also closing, and even the more bizarre and strange Parade of Nations it seems like NAV Can in seeming partnership with Corus keeps rolling out the limpness that attracts fewer and fewer participants.
Heck DUNET seems to be beating Corus Radio in listenership at times at this point.
Dan even managed to rip off one of yours truly’s lines, about being able to get anywhere in Cornwall in ten minutes.
While every community has some good and some bad; sticking one’s head in the sand always is good for a laugh.
Trying to export that kind of thinking is even more amusing.
Is Cornwall helpless? Actually there is some opportunity to make things better, but as long as the clique culture continues and exclusionary bullying goes on at the expense of being more inclusive the mocking of the ever shrinking clique will only grow.
What are some of your favorite Cornwall memes or anecdotes? You can post your comments below.